Oregon Estate + Business Planning Blog

Legal Rights v. Practical Issues (or, When Legal Rights Don't Matter)

I want to tell you a secret.

Each and every one of you has certain legal rights, but many of them don't matter. I first realized this when I watched the movie Liar, Liar, starring Jim Carrey. There's a scene where a towing company scratches Jim Carrey's car, and the towing man asks him what he's going to do about it. Jim Carrey says, "Nothing! Because if I take it to small claims court, it will just drain 8 hours out of my life and you probably won't show up and even if I got the judgment you'd just stiff me anyway; so what I am going to do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk, and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe!"

He has a legal right to be free from vandalism to his car, but he's not going to do anything to secure that legal right, so it doesn't really matter. Of course, in this case it makes sense that he doesn't pursue anything, but there are other situations where it makes all the sense in the world to pursue your legal rights. When the cost of losing a legal right outweighs the cost to secure a legal right, it makes sense to pursue that security.

Here are three ways this relates to estate planning:

1.  You may not have immediate access to money and assets if your spouse dies.

I thought about this when I read an article about a woman whose husband died, and the mortgage company threatened to foreclose on her home, repeatedly harrassing her for payment that she didn't have the immediate ability to access. It reminded me of how I hear people say things like, "If my spouse died, I'd just get everything, right?" and, "We have life insurance, so we'll be OK." Maybe, maybe not. Neither of those things are set in stone. It could be that you have to go through a court process to gain access to your spouse's property. It could be that you have to give up some property to your spouse's kids (from another relationship). It could be that the insurance company takes a while to cut you a check, so you don't have enough money to pay the bills for an extended period of time. If having immediate access to money and assets is a concern for you, see a lawyer who can show you what things will look like for you and your spouse if one of you dies.

2.  The guardian you want may not be able to serve.

I tell the story all the time about how after my mother died, there were several family members that wanted to adopt me, but they couldn't afford to fly over to Hawaii and pay lawyers to make it happen. If you don't name guardians and make a plan to pay the guardians for the care of your children, it might not be the person you'd choose who your kids end up with. Sure, each family member has a legal right to petition, but not all of them will have the resources to make it happen. 

3.  Your kids may inherit nothing from you.

You have a legal right to leave your property and money to anyone you want, and yet, I hear about people accidentally disinherting their kids all the time. If you leave everything to your spouse, unprotected, there is no guarantee that your children will inherit anything. Most parents want to make sure something is left behind for their kids, yet the unprotected all-to-my-spouse plan is the one that most people go with when they create a will or trust. 

These are just a few examples of situations where practical issues and legal rights collide. The moral of these stories? Get thee to an estate planning lawyer who can look out for these issues and advise you on how to proceed in a way that best protects your family and accomplishes your goals.

To your family's health & prosperity,

Candice N. Aiston

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

___

Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

 

Estate Planning is about Parenting with Purpose.

I had a major a-ha moment this week when I watched a video about estate planning at a web show called The Intentional Parent. It hit me that this is what estate planning is all about: Intentional Parenting, or Parenting with Purpose. 

I often try to pin down what my clients all have in common, and while they have varying incomes, careers, lifestyles, and values, what they DO have in common is that they are all seeking to parent their kids with purpose. The purpose is not always the same. I have clients whose kids go to the most academically recognized schools in Oregon and I have clients whose kids go to schools that are centered around the environment, religion, student democracy, and many other variations of those. I have clients whose kids go to public school and clients whose kids are homeschooled. Of course, parenting isn't all about what school you choose, but I bring up school choice to show you that while values may vary, all of my clients put a lot of thought and energy into their kids' education and upbringing. They're not just plowing through life hoping for the best. They're making decisions with purpose and intention.

Estate Planning is for parents who are parenting with intention and who want to protect the purpose that they have for their family. What will happen to all of the thought you put into parenting if something happens to you? Consider the following scenarios:

• You are injured and are out of work for many months;
• You are incapacitated and can't make health or financial decisions for yourself;
• You and your child are both incapaciated and there is no one to make decisions;
• You die prematurely without a plan in place.

What will happen to your purpose for your family in each of these scenarios? Who will take care of your kids? Who will make health decisions for you and your kids? Who will pay the bills? Who will ensure your kids complete their education? Who will pay for your kids upbringing? How much money will you have to pay to go through the various court processes if any of these things happen?

There are a lot of people who have the attitude of, "If I die, I die, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to die." This is not the attitude of someone who parents with purpose. Someone who parents with purpose sees what they have in their power to do, and does it. You may not be able to ensure that the decisions that you make for your family will lead to a certain outcome, but you can ensure that if something bad happens to you, that your family has the best chance possible to continue life as you wanted them to live it.

It just so happens that right after Christmas comes the New Year, and that's the time to take action and make changes. If you haven't named guardians or prepared a will or trust (or if your current plan is more than a couple of years old), it's time to make sure that your precious family is protected. 

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

To your family's health & prosperity,

Candice N. Aiston

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

___

Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

 

5 Ways to Make 2012 the Year You Finally Get Your Finances in Order.

Have you felt a nagging desire to get your finances in order for the past few years?  Have you made resolutions every New Year, only to put them on the back burner when life happens?  Many of us have done so, and to help you to make sure that this is FINALLY the year you make it happen, I have put together 5 Ways to Make 2012 the Year You Finally Get Your Finances in Order:

1. Schedule a meeting with your spouse (or alone or with a friend if you're not partnered) to discuss and write down your goals.

The first step to achieving your goals is to set them and organize them.  If you have a spouse, you are not the only decision-maker, so it's important to get your spouse on the same page in order to get started.  I recommend setting a specific time to sit down together without kids and hash these things out.  If you're not partnered or married, set a meeting up with yourself or a friend to help you to get started.

2.  Make sure you have covered the Key 5 Financial Areas.

To make sure that you have a financially healthy family, remember PRICE: Protection, Retirement Savings, Investment, College Savings, Emergency Savings.  These five elements are the PRICE of financial health.  Make sure that you have goals in all of these areas.  Protection is important because you want to make sure your assets always stay in your hands and that you always have the income your need to care for your family.  Retirement Savings is important because there will come a day when you can't work anymore and you don't want to be living in destitution. Investment is important because you have the opportunity to see your wealth grow.  College Savings is important because financial debt is a huge burden for college graduates entering the workforce.  Emergency Savings is important because you just never know when you'll be laid off, injured, or have some sort of expensive emergency.  Paying attention to PRICE will ensure that your family is financially healthy.

3.  Protect your financial goals first.

Your financial goals are at risk of being devastated if you don't plan for incapacity, injury, or death.  Most families are just one medical crisis away from bankruptcy.  Planning now could mean the difference between financial devastation and financial prosperity for your family.  The very first thing that you should do to keep your goals safe is to talk with an estate planning attorney. The attorney should be able to help you with planning for your incapacity, injury, and death, as well as recommending a financial advisor to meet with who can walk you through disability and life insurance.  

4.  Hold yourself accountable.

There are a few ways to make sure that you get your goals accomplished, such as telling your friends and family about your goals, setting mini-deadlines for yourself on your calendar, and getting together with a group of similarly goal-oriented friends to hold one another accountable.  Make sure that you have some way of making sure that you don't let another year go by without reaching your goals.

5.  Celebrate your successes.

Each time you meet one of your goals, it's important to celebrate that.  I don't mean that you have to spend a bunch of money to celebrate, but just make sure to acknowledge it in some way. If it's a big goal that you've reached, then by all means, have a nice dinner to celebrate it.  You can also celebrate just by telling someone that supports you how you made a goal and reached it.  The continued support you feel from your community will encourage you to keep going.

If you keep these 5 ideas in mind when you're setting out to achieve your financial goals, you'll be setting yourself up for success!  Good luck to you and have a Happy New Year!

To your family's health & prosperity,

 

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

___

Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

 

The 9 Planning Mistakes Parents Make

ATTENTION PARENTS: Did you know that almost 75% of you don't have any estate planning in place?  Even more shocking is that for the 25% or so that do, you have likely made at least one of nine common mistakes that parents make when doing their estate planning.

As Portland's Estate Planning Attorney for Families, I see and hear the stories of planning mistakes all day long. Here are a few:

• The parents who didn't name guardians, and whose kids stayed in foster care for 18 months while the family fought over guardianship;
• The mother who didn't have a healthcare directive, and was kept braindead on life support for 13 years until her feeding tube was ultimately removed, after her family fought legal battles and spent thousands of dollars over whether she would have wanted to live or die;
• The mother who named her sister and brother-in-law as joint guardians, only to have the kids be awarded to the brother-in-law in the later divorce;
• The stay-at-home mom whose spouse died without any life insurance, leaving her with no way to support herself and her children and eventually having the family home go into foreclosure while she scrambled to find a job;
• The family who had to go through a lengthy and expensive court process to be able to manage the father's affairs when he became incapacitated;
• The stepparent who was really more like the biological parent who lost contact with her stepchildren when her spouse died;
• The mother who accidentally disinherited her own children;

...and so many more.

THAT'S WHY I CREATED MY FREE REPORT, "The 9 Planning Mistakes Parents Make." I want YOU to know what questions to raise with your attorney when you're doing your planning. Your family is worth it.

To receive the FREE REPORT, please CLICK HERE!

To your family's health & prosperity,

Candice N. Aiston

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

___

Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

 

Back to School: 4 Things You Must Know about Emergency Cards.

It is already August, and that means parents are thinking about getting ready for the kids to go back to school.  There are a million things to do: shop for new school clothes and supplies, attend doctor and dentist appointments, get haircuts, organize bedrooms and study areas, and get used to waking up early again.  There is one more task that many parents will do before September: update or fill out new Emergency Contact cards for your kids' schools.

Have you ever thought about whether these cards will even be effective if they're needed?  Here's what you need to know:

1.  You must choose people who will be able to pick up your child within 20-30 minutes.

When you choose people to list on the Emergency Card, make sure that each one could pick up your child within 20-30 minutes.  If the person works, make sure that he or she will be able to leave if need be.  If the person stays at home with children, make sure that there will be transportation available.  If you are naming a relative that is older (such as a grandparent), make sure that he or she is physically able to get to your child.  Be sure to name at least three choices, in case someone is out of town or cannot be reached.  Taking this kind of care to name these contacts will ensure that everything goes smoothly if there is an emergency.

2.  You must choose people who will have legally documented authority to keep your kids.

At the same time that you are naming Emergency Contacts for your kids, you should also be taking steps to give these "short-term guardians" the legal authority to keep your kids if something happens to you.  The schools keep your Emergency Contact information on file, and they do contact the people on the list if there is an emergency, but the school cannot guarantee that the authorities will allow your child to stay with any of the people that you have listed.  Imagine a scneario where something happened to you and the Emergency COntact came to pick up your kids.  If something happens to a parent where they are incapacitated or die, the police would usually notify DHS that there are children that need to be accounted for.  DHS would find out from the school where the children are, and if the Emergency Contact does not have the legal authority to keep the kids, DHS will probably have no choice but to take the kids into foster custody until a court can sort things out.  You can prevent this scenario from happening, and very easily.  (See how at the end.) 

3.  You must have a long-term plan for your kids' care.

In addition to giving your Emergency Contact the short-term legal authority to keep your kids, you also need to sort out a long-term plan for the kids' care if something happens to you.  All the Emergency Contact card does is tell the school who to call if there is an emergency.  It does not lay out a plan for their care in any legal way if something happens to you.  If a day comes when the school does need to use your Emergency Contact card, you want to have everything worked out so that there are so glitches in your child's care.  (See how you can name guardians for free, below.)

4.  You must communicate your plan with everyone involved.

A plan is not a plan unless everybody involved knows what to do!  The Emergency Contacts should be in possession of their legal documentation, and they should know who to call (the long-term guardian) once they have been called upon.  The long-term guardian should know who the local Emergency Contacts are, so they can communicate with them, if need be.

If you are thinking, "Oh great, like I need more to add to my to-do list," well, worry no longer.  I have a gift for you to help you to get started on this important part of what hopefully will become a comprehensive estate plan.  I am giving away my Oregon KidsCare packet, which will help you to legally name short and long-term guardians (and so much more) for free.  CLICK HERE to receive the packet now.

To your family's health & prosperity,

 

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

___

Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

 

What Estate Planning Documents Do I Need?

I recently returned from a trip to Hawaii, where I visited my family and attended my brother's wedding.  My two kids left a week before me with my parents, and that gave me some time to think about whether my estate plan was up to date.  No, it was not.  My guardian designations were outdated, my trustee designations were no longer going to work for my situation, and the new revisions to the Oregon Inheritance Tax created a big problem for my estate.  Honestly, I am embarrassed to say that I thought, "My plane is not going to crash.  I don't plan on dying.  This can wait."  But after the couple of weeks I just had with a friend dying and with two friends winding up in the hospital, I quickly shook off that nonsense.  I needed to update my plan.  A lot had changed in my life since I last updated it.  

I decided to show you what things look like now. Here is a list of everything in my binder and what you need to include in your plan:

• KidsCare Plan:  Long-term guardian designations; short-term guardian designations; instructions to caregivers about emergency plan; instructions to guardian about long-term care of kids; wallet ID cards (TO RECEIVE YOUR FREE KIDS CARE PLAN, CLICK HERE);
• Overview: The "Cliff's Notes" of the trust;
• Trust Agreement: Outlines terms of trust during lifetime and how assets are to be distributed after death; names Trustees;
• Pour-Over Will: Names Personal Representative and "catches" and assets that may have been left out of the trust;
• Nominations: A quick reference to see who is involved in the plan;
• Personal Information: Your most recent personal and financial information sheet;
• Funding Instructions: Shows you how to title assets and is handy to refer to when you acquire assets in the future;
• Power of Attorney: Names an agent to act for you financially if you are incapacitated;
• Privacy Affidavit: The short and sweet version of what banks and other institutions need to know about your trust;
• Trust Assets: Includes your asset spreadsheet, confirmation of asset transfers, and any information about your assets that your trustee will need to know;
• HIPAA Release: Allows your trustees and representatives to gain access to your medical records without a court order, saving your family money if you are incapacitated;
• Advance Directive: Names a Healthcare Representative to make healthcare decisions for you and outlines your healthcare wishes;
• Memorial Instructions: Everything your family needs to know to prepare an obituary, notify friends and groups of your passing, and plan a memorial service;
• Property Agreements: Any agreements you have with people you co-own property with;
• Personal Property Memorandum: Gives away specific items to specific people;
• Other Documents: This can include a Letter of Instruction to your trustee and letters you or your lawyer writes to your fiduciaries;
• Trust ID Card: This is handy to carry in your wallet to remind you how your trust should be titled;
• CD of Documents: For ease in sending any documents to fiduciaries, banks or other institutions, or doctors;
• Family Treasures Conversation: A recorded message to your family so that you can say all the things you want to make sure you've said.

 Of course, you may need more than this if your estate will be subject to estate taxes, or if you need to incorporate asset protection or business succession into your plan.  The most important part of your plan is professional counsel.  An estate planning attorney will be able to guide you in the direction that is right for your family.

To your family's health & prosperity,

 

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

___

Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

 

FREE Oregon KidsCare Plan Packet: A Legal Plan for Your Family.

A friend of mine was recently put into a medically induced coma, after a routine surgery led to a seriously life-threatening infection.  It is looking good that she will recover, but the suddenness of the infection and the uncertainty of the outcome have really shaken our community.  One friend immediately asked about whether there was any estate planning in place, which made many people wonder about whether it was time to ge their own plans in place.

I decided to go ahead with a plan that I had come up with a few weeks earlier.

A couple of weeks ago, I was so sick with The Cold of Doom, that I could not get out of bed for five days.  My kids were extremely lucky that their dad was able to take time off to care for them, because I was seriously incapacitated.  During this time, I thought about you, Dear Readers.  What would your kids do if you were seriously incapacitated?  Do you have a plan in place for the care of your kids?

I have not given out my FREE Oregon KidsCare packet to the public since last December, but I am giving it out now, so that if you do not have a plan in place for the care of your kids if something happens to you, you can get the peace of mind you deserve NOW.  Do it before you go on that trip.  Don't wait another day!

The KidsCare Plan Packet helps you to:

-Legally name long-term guardians for your kids;

-Legally document short-term guardians so the kids don’t have to experience foster care;

-Exclude any unacceptable choices from being considered as guardian;

-Communicate with your guardian choices to let them know the plan;

-Inform caregivers who to call in an emergency; and

-Tell guardians exactly how you’d want your kids raised.

It’s my gift to you, and there’s no obligation attached.  Simply click on the link and follow the instructions.

This is the best first step to getting your plan in place!  Happy Summer!

To receive your FREE Oregon KidsCare Plan packet, CLICK HERE!

To your family's health & prosperity,

 

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

___

Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

 

 

FAQ: "What are the chances of an untimely death for me, anyway?"

A common question that I get from prospective clients is what the likelihood of an untimely death is for them. The quick answer to that question is that you are asking the wrong question. Here is the long answer:

In 2007, in the age group of 25-44, there were 121,087 deaths in the United States. Of these, the leading cause was accidents (24%). Next was cancer (14%) and after that was heart disease (12%). The same year, in the age group of 45-64, there were 469,491 deaths in the United States, but the leading cause was cancer (32%). Next was heart disease (21%) and accidents still made the Top 3 at 6%. (You can verify this information at the CDC website.)

As far as your relationship to those numbers goes, an insurance agent could better guide you on that than I could. They would take into account things like family and medical history, occupation, marital status, activities, and numerous other factors. Then they would tell you either that 1) they will insure you at a reasonable rate; 2) they will insure you at a higher rate than someone who is a lesser risk; or 3) they will not insure you.

When I look at those numbers, what I think is, "Holy Cow, that is a lot of people to die at a rather young age." I think, "Wow, why wouldn't one of those people be me?" Statistically, as a white female, I am expected to live to be 80.7. My great-grandmother lived to 102. My grandmother died in her 50s of causes I do not know. My mother died at age 30 in a car accident. Even though I know the statistics about someone like me, my personal experience shows me that sometimes you cannot think about these types of matters as an insurance company does. (For what it is worth, the insurance company thinks I am insurable at a reasonable rate!)

Another reason why the untimely death question is the wrong one: It totally ignores the issue of disability/incapacity, when actually, if the numbers above scared you at all, the numbers for disability are much higher. People are generally 4 times more likely to be prematurely disabled than they are to die prematurely. The implications of that can be huge.

The right question to ask is: If I die or am disabled and/or incapacitated prematurely, what will the impact be on my family, and is it in my power to minimize any of that impact?

That is the question that I want you to bring to your attorney at your first estate planning meeting. "What are the chances?"; "How much does a will cost?"; "How can I check this off my to-do list quickly, cheaply, and easily?" All those questions do not matter if you do not know 1) what things will look like for your family if something happens to you; and 2) whether it is in your power to minimize that impact.

These are questions that only an estate planning attorney can answer for you. I urge you to make today the day you get started on getting a plan in place to protect your family. Picking up the phone to make the first appointment is half the battle.

To your family's health & prosperity,

 

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

___

Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

 

Love Stories for Valentine's Day

In my adult life, I have learned a lot about love, and I guess the biggest thing I've learned is that love is not a feeling; love is the things that we do.  Do you remember what you thought about love when you were younger?  I remember thinking that love must be thrilling, exhilarating, and blissful.  My ideas about love probably started with some Disney movie, and then continued with 90210 and whatever other TV shows and movies I was into as a teenager.  Although I heard from many grown-ups in my life that "love is an action," I really didn't grasp that until I was older.

You know what else I've learned about love?  I've learned that martyring myself doesn't prove my love for someone.  I've learned that taking great care of myself is a way of loving my family.  I've learned that sometimes, when it comes to my kids, I don't have to say yes to every single thing.  They might not understand my love now, but they will when they are older.  I didn't always understand that my parents loved me, and I'm sure there were several years when they didn't feel very warm and fuzzy about me, but their acts of love continued - making sure I was fed, clothed, educated, and given opportunities - and I can see that today. 

The truth is, most of us are suckers for love stories, but not the unsexy stories that focus on real acts of love.  We like romance.  And when it comes to our kids, we enjoy those special warm and fuzzy moments like Christmas or birthdays, but we don't feel warm and fuzzy about the loving acts that we do every day.  Changing a diaper is a loving act, trust me.  (Consider the alternative.)  Going to work every day is a loving act.  Making sacrifices to raise your kids according to your beliefs is a loving act.  Sometimes, sacrificing the feel-good moments for the greater good is a loving act (like when you have to say no to something your kid wants to buy, because you are spending that money on something more important, like contributing to your retirement account).

And here are some love stories that I see in my line of work every day:

~The spouses who execute healthcare directives, so that one spouse is not left agonizing over important medical decisions.

~The spouses who organize their assets so that a surviving spouse doesn't have to go to court to gain access to them.

~The working spouse who buys a life insurance policy so that a stay-at-home spouse is not left penniless and hopeless if something happens.

~The parents who start planning for retirement and end-of-life care early, so that their kids are not overly burdened with their care later in life.

~The parents who execute a KidsCare Plan, so that their kids are always with the right people, no matter what happens.

~The parents who ensure that their family always has quick access to financial resources and are never left paying thousands of dollars to get access to the money they need.

~The parents who make sure that the kids' inheritance is safeguarded until they are through college so that they have every opportunity in life.

~The parent  who makes sure that their child always has an inheritance, even if the surviving spouse remarries.

~The parents who record a special message to their kids, so that their kids always have guidance, even if the parents are no longer there.

And there are so many more.  Estate Planning is the ultimate act of love - ensuring that your family is cared for even if you're not here.  It probably won't give you that warm fuzzy feeling that you get when you see your kid on her first ride at Disneyland, and you won't get any I-love-you's from your kids for doing it, but you'll know that your loved ones will always be taken care of, no matter what happens in life. 

That's what love is all about.

To your family's health & prosperity,

 

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

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Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.

What You Can Learn from My Daughter's Dentist (or, Pulling Teeth Is Not Your Only Option)

My youngest daughter, Talula, is one of those lucky kids who had never even tasted a cookie before she got her first cavity.  She was breastfed and only had whole foods for the first few years of her life, but she had four decayed teeth by the time she was 1 1/2 years old.  I could not tell that they were cavities at first (there were white spots on her top four front teeth), so I consulted Google and I consulted friends.  After all, you are not supposed to have to take your child to see a dentist until they are 3 or so.  While I took my time figuring things out, one of her teeth started actually falling apart.  I called a few dentists (finally, duh), and the consensus was pretty much that at least the worst tooth would need to be pulled.  I took her to a dentist (that I found on a county list) who held my screaming daughter down and poked around in her mouth for less than a minute before she concluded that, yes, we would need to have the tooth pulled.  The "bedside manner" was one that left me feeling stupid and inept.

I dazedly scheduled a date for the tooth extraction with the receptionist and listened as she gave me a prescription for antibiotics and warned me about the possibility of abscess.  My daughter could apparently die if she got one.  She handed me a liability waiver that I'd need to sign before the appointment.  Apparently my daughter could die from the drug cocktail she'd be getting.

I broke down crying in the parking lot.  I felt like a failure as a mother, for one thing, and for another thing, I was really confused by what had just happened and I did not feel at peace with any of it at all.

I turned to the only people who would understand why I was so distressed about teeth - the women in my moms group.  One of the moms told me that her child had cavities as well, and that her dentist was really great and that I should go to see him and at least get a second opinion.  This was when I lived in Southern Oregon, and I drove 3 hours to Portland to see him. 

This experience was entirely different and I left feeling empowered.  The dentist spent a lot of time talking with Lu and me.  (We came in three days in a row for a couple of hours each time, just so Lu could get comfortable with the place.)  She got to play with his toys and feed his hamsters and watch Dora.  I was able to tell him my worries - that my sensitive mama's girl would be traumatized and that her adult teeth would be affected by such an early extraction.  I was able to communicate my goals - to stop further decay and to take a route that would cause the least trauma possible. 

After hearing my worries and goals, the dentist was able to give me a variety of *options* that I could decide on.  I actually got to hear the pros and cons of each option and make the decision that was best for my daughter.  We decided to put silver bands around each of the affected teeth, which would seal them off to further decay.  It was not the quickest option.  It was not the easiest option.  It was not the cheapest option.  (It was not the most expensive option, either.  I could have gone with porcelain for aesthetic purposes.)  But it was the best option for my daughter at that time, and I felt good about it.  This was an option I could live with.  The dentist did not make me feel like this was my fault or that I did not know what I was doing.

I asked the dentist why I had not been given these options at the other place.  He said that it is just incredibly common for dentists to pull teeth like this.  It is easy, it is profitable for the dentist, and it is affordable for the parent.  It is just the way things are done.  This new dentist actually wrote the book on how to run a dentistry practice for kids.  He knows what parents want and need for their kids.

And this brings me to YOU.  You are reading this, probably because you are interested in estate planning.  When you go to see an attorney, I do not want you to feel how I did at that first dentist.  I want you to be able to present your situation, communicate your fears and goals, and receive *options* that you can weigh and choose from in order to reach your goals.  You may think you need a will or you need a trust, but what you need is to know your options.

I want you to call an attorney and say, "I need to know my options with regard to estate planning."  And I would like you to meet with your attorney and tell her or him about your fears and goals.  And then I would like you to ask what your options are.  If your attorney shows you what your situation looks like (based on the family and financial information you have given) and gives you different options for achieving your goals, then you will be in great shape.

To your family's health & prosperity,

 

P.S.  Want to get started on the most important planning you'll ever do for your family?  Give our office a call at (503) 235-5150 to get started.  You'll be glad you did.

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Want to use this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?

 

You can!  Just please be sure to use this complete blurb with it:

 

Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area.  She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance.  If you would like to receive her free report, "The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make," please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.